Picture this: You’re having one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. Your alarm didn’t go off, you spilled coffee on your favorite shirt, and then you snapped at a coworker. By the time you get home, you’re drained and frustrated. It’s in moments like these that emotional regulation can be a real game-changer, helping you to bounce back instead of letting the day spiral out of control.
What Is Emotional Regulation, Really?
Think of emotional regulation as your personal toolkit for handling whatever life throws your way. It’s about recognizing your emotions, understanding why you’re feeling them, and choosing the best way to respond. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel angry, sad, or stressed—it’s about managing these emotions in a way that’s healthy and constructive.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
We’re often our own harshest critics. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to beat yourself up. But self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend—can help you manage your emotions more effectively. When you’re kind to yourself, you create space to process emotions without getting stuck in negative self-talk.
Practical Tip: Next time you’re being hard on yourself, pause and ask, “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” Then, try to offer yourself the same words of encouragement and understanding.
Recommended App: MyLife Meditation (formerly Stop, Breathe & Think)
Website: www.mylife.com
MyLife offers personalized meditation and mindfulness practices based on how you’re feeling at the moment, helping you practice self-compassion and emotional regulation.
2. Breathe Your Way to Calm
When emotions run high, your body often goes into fight-or-flight mode—your heart races, your breathing quickens, and your mind can feel like it’s going a million miles a minute. One of the quickest ways to calm down is to focus on your breath. Deep, controlled breathing can help reset your nervous system and bring you back to a place of calm.
Practical Tip: Try the 4-7-8 breathing exercise. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat this a few times, and notice how your body begins to relax.
Recommended App: Calm
Website: www.calm.com
Calm offers guided breathing exercises that help you manage your stress and maintain emotional balance.
3. Lean on Your Support System
We all need a little help sometimes. Whether it’s talking to a friend, calling a family member, or seeking advice from a mentor, having people you can rely on is crucial for emotional well-being. Social support helps you process emotions and gain perspective, making it easier to manage tough situations.
Practical Tip: Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Even a quick chat can help you feel more grounded and less alone in whatever you’re dealing with.
Recommended App: 7 Cups
Website: www.7cups.com
7 Cups provides emotional support through free anonymous chats with trained listeners and licensed therapists. It’s a valuable resource when you need someone to talk to.
4. Create a Routine You Love
Life can be unpredictable, but having a routine can give you a sense of control. When you establish a daily routine, you create a rhythm that helps regulate your emotions. This doesn’t mean sticking to a rigid schedule—think of it as creating a flow that supports your well-being.
Practical Tip: Start small by incorporating one or two things into your daily routine that make you feel good—like a morning walk, a few minutes of meditation, or a nightly wind-down ritual. Over time, these small habits can make a big difference in how you manage your emotions.
Recommended App: Sanvello
Website: www.sanvello.com
Sanvello offers mood tracking, guided meditations, and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) tools that help you build a routine that supports emotional regulation.
5. Accept, Don’t Avoid
Sometimes, the best way to deal with difficult emotions is to accept them rather than trying to push them away. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening—it just means acknowledging your feelings without judgment. This can help you move through emotions more effectively, rather than getting stuck in them.
Practical Tip: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to sit with your emotions. Instead of distracting yourself or trying to change how you feel right away, acknowledge the emotion. Say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way right now.” Acceptance can be the first step toward finding a solution.
Recommended App: Insight Timer
Website: www.insighttimer.com
Insight Timer offers a vast library of guided meditations and mindfulness practices that can help you practice acceptance and improve emotional regulation.
Conclusion
Emotional regulation is a skill that can make life’s ups and downs more manageable. By being kind to yourself, practicing deep breathing, leaning on your support system, creating a routine, and accepting your emotions, you can enhance your ability to navigate challenges with greater resilience. Remember, it’s not about controlling every emotion—it’s about responding to them in a way that’s healthy and supportive.
References
- Brown, R. P., & Gerbarg, P. L. (2005). Sudarshan Kriya yogic breathing in the treatment of stress, anxiety, and depression: Part II—clinical applications and guidelines. Journal of Alternative & Complementary Medicine, 11(4), 711-717. https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2005.11.711
- Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310-357. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310
- Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1-26. https://doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2015.970143
- Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change. Guilford Press.
- Hobfoll, S. E. (1989). Conservation of resources: A new attempt at conceptualizing stress. American Psychologist, 44(3), 513-524. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.44.3.513
- Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032
This post is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.