According to Peck (2023), young people who are bullied can experience a wide range of consequences, ranging from physical injuries to psychological effects. Even their grades can suffer when they're bullied. What's more, bullying is a risk factor for depression and anxiety, self-harm, suicide ideation, and substance abuse.
Peck (2023) explained her own experience:” While talking to a teammate during lunch one day, I realized that there was a team group chat that I, along with a few others, was not a part of. I didn't think much of it because I wasn't the only one being excluded, yet things changed when my teammate came to me a week or so later. She told me that there had been messages and videos sent about me in this chat, and she had her friend record them so I could see them without everyone finding out. I was shocked to press play on a video only to see myself walking through the cafeteria with the caption, "Ew! Why is she here and taking up my oxygen?"
For this reason, it's important to be able to recognize the different types of bullying and know when your child may be at risk.
The different types of bullying
Verbal Bullying
Verbal bullying, or bullying with cruel words, involves ongoing name-calling, threatening, and making disrespectful comments about someone's attributes such as their appearance, beliefs, disability, and more.
Example: When one child says to another child, "You're really ugly, and so is your mom," or making fun of someone's clothes, hairstyle, intellect, stature, or gait are also examples.
Relational Bullying
Relational bullying, sometimes called emotional bullying or social bullying, involves deliberately sabotaging a person's social standing. While the most recognized form of relational bullying involves preventing someone from joining or being part of a group, it can also include rumor spreading, sharing confidential information, and manipulating situations.
Example: When a group of teens talk about a weekend sleepover and make plans in front of an uninvited teen, with the intent of ostracizing and excluding this person, it represents relational bullying. Other examples include spreading false information or pressuring someone to do something to remain part of the group.
Cyberbullying
Cyberbullying, or online bullying, involves haranguing someone by spreading mean words, lies, and false rumors through e-mails, text messages, and social media posts. These messages create a hostile atmosphere, even when not directly targeting your child.
Example: When someone tweets or posts, "Kayden is a total loser. Why is anyone hanging out with them?" that's a form of cyberbullying. Cyberbullying also can include posting false information, private photos, or compromising information about another person.
Sexual Bullying
When someone sexually bullies another person, they often use harmful words, gestures, or actions that are sexual in nature. This includes name-calling and sexual jokes, as well as sexual harassment or propositioning. Even forcing someone to look at something pornographic at school can be a form of sexual bullying.
Example: Making a crude comment about another person's sexual activity, such as accusing them of sleeping around, is an example of sexual bullying in teens. Repeatedly commenting on a person's physical development, such as the emergence of breasts in puberty, is also an example of sexual bullying.
Prejudicial Bullying
Prejudicial bullying is based on beliefs or opinions that kids have about a person's race or religion. It can also involve bullying that's rooted in negative views about a young person's sexual orientation.
Example: Prejudicial bullying is characterized by attacks on a person's identity and can involve name-calling (verbal bullying), physical abuse, relational aggression, and cyberbullying. It can even spill over into sexual bullying. In extreme cases, this type of bullying can escalate to hate crimes.
What to Do If Your Teen Is Being Bullied |(Peck 2023)
Discuss accountability for their actions online
The rise of cyberbullying shouldn't lead to you ban your teen's social media use, but there is definitely the need for you to have a conversation about it. Youth of all ages need to fully understand how what they are typing and posting can hurt the feeling of others. They also have to understand that almost nothing on the internet is truly private, and whatever you post don’t ever fully disappear, even if an app makes it seem like it does. Just because you intend for one person to see it, doesn't mean it won't reach the eyes of others.
Help teens talk about it with friends
To break the cycle of bullying, it takes one person to step up and speak out. We are always taught about the bystander effect and how saying nothing can be just as bad as doing the action itself. Instead of standing by and hoping the problem will be fixed by someone else, teach your teen to stand up for their friends whether it be by telling a trusted adult, making someone feel included, or by not condoning the actions taking place.
Let them know that it's okay to ask for help
If your teen is being bullied, make sure they know that they can talk to you, a trusted friend, or another adult to find a solution. Asking for help doesn't make you a tattletale or coward, but rather it signifies that the issue is beyond your capabilities to handle and resolve.
Key Takeaway
If your child approaches you about bullying, be supportive, praise their courage for telling you, and gather information (without getting angry or accusatory). Then take action against the bullying, especially if it becomes severe or persistent, by contacting your child's teacher or principal to intervene. In some cases, you may need to get outside help from law enforcement or government entities, especially if a crime was committed. Mental health professionals also may be needed to initiate the healing process.
Resources
https://www.parents.com/kids/problems/bullying/common-types-of-bullying/
This post is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered therapy. This blog is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We are not able to respond to specific questions or comments about personal situations, appropriate diagnosis or treatment, or otherwise provide any clinical opinions. If you think you need immediate assistance, call your local doctor/psychologist or psychiatrist or the SADAG Mental Health Line on 011 234 4837. If necessary, please phone the Suicide Crisis Line on 0800 567 567 or sms 31393.